Ways African Parents say 'I love you'

Ways African parents say 'I love you'.

'I love you' oyinbo style.

Oyinbo people especially at this modern times punctuate every of their sentence with 'I love you' it has now become a way of life for them that their children need this reassurance all the time to the extent that if they do not say it, their love and care for their children will be become doubtful and very questionable and this can lead to very disastrous consequences.

I look at us in Africa, Nigeria to be precise and 'pity us',  kissing, hugging and other physical show of affection is not in our culture,

Hugging, physical show of affection, very rare in traditional African homes. source

even Indians that do not kiss rub their noses together but in Africa, what do we do to express our affection and love for our loved ones? This seemingly lack of show of affection has been extended to relationship between parents and  children.

Well it is true that our 'I love you' are few and far between but does that mean we do not love our children? No. Does that mean we do not express this love we have for them? No. From my personal experience I will be sharing how Nigerian parents say 'I love you'

1. One of the first instructions drummed into our ears as we grow up is never to accept food or anything for that matter from strangers and even neighbours so our parents are indirectly saying 'I love you, be careful, I do not want any harm to befall you'

2. We should look left, right and left again before crossing the road. This is the first phase of our orientation into the  'school of hard knocks'. And there is no better school for training the child to be independent and self reliant than this school. We modern parents have failed a little in enrolling our children in this school, For example,  my children have never walked to our Estate gate before, a walk of about 10 minutes,  we drive them up and down but I am still a bit better than some, a friend of mine does not allow his ten year old son hold his ice cream by himself, a house help does the holding while the son does the sucking, her reason? It is too cold, is ice cream not supposed to be cold? 

3. Mothers breastfeed their babies without caring whether the breasts go flat or not and you think they do not love you? Haba. When I was still having babies, in the hospital, I would see Oyinbo women quickly wrap and pack their breasts into firm girdle bras and start giving their babies bottle right from day 1,with the exception of a few of course.

4. Discipline, almighty discipline, even God Almighty agreed with African parents and gave them a verse to back it up in the Bible; Proverbs 13. 24 ' he that spareth his rod hateth his son ; but he that Lovett him chasteneth him betimes ( King James Version)

Almighty discipline.

. Discipline of  a child takes time, effort persistence and most important love. Let me share a real life experience, when I was in year 3 or so in secondary school, I went out during  the Christmas period with some friends, those were the days when street lights worked on the streets of Lagos, fireworks, what we call banger was very cheap, we had harmless fun and before I knew it, I could not get transport back home, there was no telephone service then, something terrible happened; for the first and also the last time in my life, I passed the night outside my house, I did not get home until the following morning. When I got home, I saw relief on my parents faces followed by confusion and then a firm resolve, I greeted them, they responded, asked if everything was okay I said yes. I was giving breakfast, lunch and dinner just as normal. But I knew that calm, and I knew it was an uneasy calm. So at last I was relieved when it happened, in the middle of the night, I was flogged on the soles of my feet till I became too weak to struggle and cry for mercy. The lesson was learnt and there was no scare on any part of my body, you see in  meting out the punishment they were being careful, although I could not walk for about two weeks because of the thrashing of my soles. Fine I might not have agreed at the time,  I now know they love me and I will love my children just as much if not more. Fast forward 4 decades later, another real life story, this time a niece of mine based in the UK and her 13 year old daughter about the same age as I was then, came back home in the wee hours of the morning, as we learnt she usually did (offence count 1),went straight for the music player , put it on,(offence count 2) and raised the volume to the highest,(offence count 3) my niece trying to read for her 'igbayilaro' nursing exams told her to switch it off, she refused,(offence count 4) my niece got up to switch it of herself, her daughter gave her a hot slap,(offence count 5 and the mother of all offences) what would we have her do? She proceeded to beat some sense into her, her two younger brothers promptly called the police, she was arrested and put behind bars overnight, it was this same daughter that came to bail her in the morning, now you compare the two scenarios, meanwhile ,my niece's 'I love you' to her children does not have Part 2 as we say it in Naija home video parlance, all the actions are in Part 1.

5. African parents say 'I love you' by sharing real life experiences, warning on outcomes of any action or inaction. When I was growing up I had the habit of forgetting to close my mouth, you know like some other children too, my mum had reminded me to, times without number, there were no dental braces in Nigeria then to help control your teeth if they should protrude out of your mouth. What do you think my mum did? There was this woman that had a stall in a market not too far away from our house, my mum took me one day to that market, we bought stuff from her, I could not stop looking at her because of her protruding teeth,  

This reminds me of the woman, only that her teeth was worse, my people call this 'eyin iku' source

you know that kind of mouth that try what you will, it will not close, and you could not leave it open either. On our way back, my mum asked me if I still wanted to be leaving my mouth open, then I got the message, since that day I made extra effort to remember to close my mouth at all times. And the result, a beautiful Naijamum with the perfect set of teeth wink**

Naijamum's teeth result of practical show of love by her mother.

My dad on his on part was an 'ogbologbo' expert at such lessons, if we see any truck pusher or menial jobber,  he would not fail to let you know that it is the lazy person  that ends up with the most difficult and low paying job. In his words. 'ole ló ma nsise to le ju'

Result of dodging work? Most likely. Taken with my Ipad.

whilst dodging work, you will end up with the most difficult work so by extension if you don't get an education, you would become a labourer. 

6. Most Nigerian parents would spend their life savings on their child, we do not get any help from government, no child benefit, no child care cost, no grants, no carer's allowance, no single parent allowance, no home fees lower than international fees at the university level, well no nothing, they single handed bring up their children themselves. After school, they continue to prop up their children and some children still doubt their love? My own mum gave me the title deed to one of her property to get a loan in the bank when I started business, of course she was cautioned by people who meant well, she said she trusted me and had faith in my capacity( maybe because I had graduated from the school of hard knocks with flying colours) and also because of this love she has for me. And thank God, I have not disappointed her yet.

6. Nigerian parents say I love you by helping you, with God's backing of course in your quest of a life mate, husband or wife,

Help just like Abraham did in the Bible in getting a life mate. Source

though at the end of the day God knows best but you would not be left to your own devices.

7. Show of Affection is also seen in their help with their child's choice of career, vocation and all forms of means of livelihood. When I completed my National Youth Service in 1988, I came into contact with one of my cousin's husband who was in the Navy, he asked if I would like to join the Police Force and I thought, well why not? He gave me a letter to give somebody in the Police. My Dad was against it and put his foot down so I had to abandon the plan and look elsewhere.

Looking back, these are steps I would take myself if faced with similar circumstances, for instance, one of the reasons we relocated to Nigeria was to ensure our children were well grounded before getting into college/ university so that they would not begin to see any little disciplinary measure on our part as 'child abuse' as defined by the obodo oyinbo government. 

Enough said. How do you say 'I love you?'

My children's big mummy.

My children's big mummy.

If you ever lived in a Nigerian household you would know  that you do not call your mother's or Father's older sister aunt, you call them big mummy, during our own time we called them 'Maami'. I had four maamis although three of them lived in Lagos so I was more familiar with those three more than the fourth one. My siblings and I were called 'aniyameta' literal meaning, 'someone' that has three mothers. These three mummies all had different roles they played in my life during my childhood and at a particular time I was so confused about who exactly was my biological mother that I had to trace her through my dad, so it was which one of them that was close to my dad that was my mum.

My children's big mummy is my immediate elder sister, she is a prettier version of me

That is me, holding the plate, you be the judge, who is prettier?. Picture taken four Christmases ago on T1's 10th birthday.

and I honestly do not mind( there was this song we had for her, omo dara latese  o dori)

Omo dara latese o dori..., Me helping her adjust her 'gele' in her garden , getting ready for a party in London, summer of 2013.

meaning a child that is beautiful from her feet to her head, she is arguably also more 'well behaved' ( she never gave the onidiri trouble like I did while we were growing up) wink* wink*. People, even our own children and our aged mum have sometimes mistaken our voices for each other but beyond that there is little or no resemblance in our mannerisms,  our way of handling stuff, our disposition etc. We are like chalk and cheese when it comes to the way we handle children, I am the no-nonsense type

The no-nonsense type caught on 'hidden camera' by paparazzi photographer T2, 2012 on T3's 6th birthday in her school.  

and according to her I expect too much from them. She is the softly-softly-catch-the-monkey' type

The softly-softly-catch-monkey type, most likely wondering why I appeared so stressed at the same event.

if you get what I mean. And according to them she is their best favourite person.

She is one of the few that I can trust my children with if anything should happen to me like going to the great beyond for example. I know she would take care of them just like her own. She pampers them a lot no doubt but she would not spoil them, she would not wield the stick like I would but she is good at lecturing and explaining to them what they did wrong, what they ought not to do, what they ought to do etc. 

 She is naked but not ashamed with them, even me their mother if I were dressing up or something, I would grab a towel to shield my body a little if any of my children should walk in  but she would not and that is saying a lot if you know what I mean. 

She is responsible for their first bras and all their underwear in fact she would usually start buying the bras before the the breasts start budding, she is responsible for all their  roll on and all hygiene stuff, despite the fact that she lives outside the country, she knows when they will run out of them and when to restock. It started before I started having children, when I was in the ministry of waiting, we waited together, she was more concerned than I was and would usually prod me, advise, cajole me almost to exasperation. When her first niece arrived,

Her first niece held by Grandma on the very first day of arrival, Christmas day year 2000.

she did all the baby shopping, I did not spend a kobo and since then, she has not missed any of their birthdays, she would call if she is out of the country and would usually be the first caller, she would pray and send them loads of presents, despite the fact that I often forget her own birthday.
 She taught them hygiene,  how to clean  their private from front to back as a girl should, to soak their undies and wash separately every morning before having their bath rather than piling them up along with all the other clothes to load in the washing machine,and to always remember to wear roll on. She is a prayer warrior and she prays for them even more than I do.

Summer is her favourite time of the year because of them. We would usually end up spending most of our summer vacation with her, she would also take a long break from work. They would play ten-ten, tinko-tinko, suuwe, Mr aeroplane and all the other silly games, I would take a well deserved break and sleep for about two weeks without lifting a finger except to stuff food and drink in my mouth. They would cook together, eat together, go shopping together, do all sorts together and leave me be. After my two weeks me-time. We would start the vacation proper by visiting one holiday resort or the other and all other places of interests. Her visit to Nigeria is usually for Christmas, she shares the time she spends with us equally between them in each of  their rooms each so that she would not be accused of being partial. 

On this particular summer vacation, we visited a holiday resort and it would be our first time on a roller coaster,

Our first roller coaster rides

the ride affected us differently, the children? They kept on going back for more, we had difficulty in dragging them back to the hotel even after night fall.

Me in black with the 'slim backside' dragging T3, big mummy on the lft in denim skirt trying to catch up with the rest of them.

Me?  I developed acute morning sickness symptoms, I feared that I might be pregnant despite all the precautions so after day one,  I just lay down in bed for the remaining two days. For their big mummy, her bladder ran out of control, she had to wee like every five minutes

Big mummy running to a loo, on the right T2, on the left, Me and behind the camera is T1

and naughty children could not stop laughing at her and asking her to try more rides, she in spite of herself still followed them and went for only the very slow rides with T3 who was about six years old then and so not tall enough to go on most of the rides. 

On our visit to the Zoo,

Zoo visit, 2008 version.

I

Zoo visit, 2008 version.

T3 then 3 years old was scared of all the animals, so was crying non stop and  refused to stay in her stroller so big mummy had to strap her on her back for up to three hours till she fell asleep and we gently transferred her to the stroller.

After she fell asleep, we played a fast one on her and put her by this purple cow, not a life one of course to have a laugh and show her when she wakes up.

It is only through her that my children would cross the boundary I set for them and I would not be able to take any action, take shopping for example, shopping is easier, faster and less expensive when big mummy is not there so they would usually beg me to let's wait for big mummy before we can shop. With her in tow, they would load the trolley with lots of panti, crisps,

'Remove the 'panti' if you dare' look.

jelly sweets and all sorts of 'jedijedi' and they would be staring at me with that 'remove it if you can look'. Of course they know I can't because of big mummy's presence.

Her husband is my children's big daddy. I remember when one of my brothers came visiting and introduced himself as their big daddy, T3 corrected him vehemently that he was not their big daddy that big mummy's daddy was their big daddy, she meant to say husband but at that age, to her the daddy of the house was everybody's daddy, she did not yet understand the 'husband' aspect of things. In between both of them, I don't know who pampers them more, big daddy's specialty is procurement of 'jedijedi', cooking delicacies and serving up to three large pieces of meat per meal, he would also want to help them do the dishes, but trust me on that one, that would be 'over my dead body' as the saying goes.

Altogether, we are blessed round about, my children and I, for this wonderful couple that are our big mummy and big daddy and we can only advise those that do not have a big mummy and a big daddy to go and adopt. Chikena. 

What about you, have you got or are you planning on adopting?

African child...... What hairstyle?

It was a bright Saturday afternoon, I dropped my children at the salon to have their hair done. The youngest one; T3, the one that will kill me with questions one of these days if care is not taken  read this for example,  tried all the tricks in the book to escape the visit to the salon but without success. I laughed inside of me and thought, if only this girl knew all the tricks that I, her mum had in my kitty and still did not succeed in escaping the weekly hairdressing ritual when growing up, she would just give up and make the most of the situation by cooperating and enjoying enduring it.

Growing up, there was no weaving of hair, (weaving came later with the migration of Northerners who worked as Maiguards, accompanied by their wives who introduced the milder hair plaiting style called weaving)what  we had was the almighty painful 'didi',

Almighty didi

 you know, that one that not even the tiniest of your hair escapes the painful clutch of the 'onidiri' the hairdresser , I am talking about the type that even your eyebrows are plaited along with the hair on your head (those with bushy eyebrows will testify to this I am sure)and as if the pain was not enough, you also had to endure the odor, scent of the inner recesses of the underneath of the onidiri,

T3 enjoying the perfumed inner recesses of the underneath of Naijamum

because it is essential that your head be gripped tightly in between their two thighs to get the best result. And also this was an ordeal that would take a minimum of two hours if the onidiri is good and fast. If the onidiri was 'wicked' as we used to think she was,  she would from time to time give you a knock on the head with her 'cutting comb' 'ilarun'

Cutting comb (ilarun)

to make you cooperate by keeping your head still. No wonder we had a permanent runny nose when we were growing up( from crying from weekend to weekend).

A typical Saturday was a day set aside for hairdressing, or hair plaiting if you like. After breakfast, the onidiri would come with her tools, we would in turn get ready for her, she would usually commence her business of the day starting with my Mum's hair followed by all the females in the house and we had quite a few being an extended family system, aunties, cousins, nieces, house helps in fact every female member of the household.

 One of my tricks was to usually be the last to have my hair done although this was what the onidiri herself wanted,she would not want me to be the first in the queue so that I will not infect her with 'bad market' and all the time I would start praying frantically for some life threatening emergency to happen so that I would escape and go free for that weekend. But Sorry, nothing of such ever happened. When it would almost be my turn, I would sneak out and run away, but some busybodies would outrun me and drag me back. Not giving up, I would cry so hard and so loud and roll on the floor, that too would not work but it would sometimes make my Mum buy a whole crate of soft drink, to bribe me with,( and these were the days when two children used to share a bottle). In between sobs, I would consume the whole crate almost half of the crate and I would still refuse to give the onidiri easy access. The onidiri would be exasperted but would dare not leave because plaiting of my hair was a tacit condition for her retainership by my mum. 

My final trick was to beg to do 'kiko' this was the one done with thread, the Chimamanda Ngozi

Adichie's favourite, but that too had its own downside, after doing it,  I would develop boils at the back of my head, I would not be able to lay down to sleep for about four to five days after the hair plaiting and my neck would be in a permanently stretched position like a giraffe's. I would beg to go back to didi. The cycle continued until my mum gave in to my request to have my hair cut and after a while I could not stand being mistaken for a boy as a result of the new hair cut, so I started growing my hair again and the cycle resumed.

So when I look at T3, my daughter's ajebota style of crying, I just laugh and wonder,is this mild whimpering what they call crying? I can  bet that she has never rolled on the floor before, she has never cried till she would lose her voice.

To the discussion at hand, T3 just got back from the salon laughing and skipping, I asked her if she had stopped crying; Trust her to answer my question with another question....

T3: Who was crying?

Me: Where  you not the one crying that you did not want o have your hair done?

T3: But Mum, seriously ( that is the latest expression in use in my house) children's hair should be left free

Me:What about Mummy's hair?

T3: (eyes rolling) But Mum, seriously nobody forces them to do their hair.

So what type of hairstyle would you recommend for an African (girl) child or would you go along with T3's suggestion that children's hair should be left free?

Ode to a playground.

A place from your past or childhood, one that you’re fond of, is destroyed. Write it a memorial.

Growing up was fun, whenever I go to Lagos Island, sweet memories still flood my mind, memories of a clean sparsely populated and breezy neighborhood which encompassed Bishop Street, Olowogbowo, Elegbata, Daddy Alaja, Koseh, Balogun, John Street, Doherty, Idumota and Marina. Everywhere was our playground including the gutters and right in the middle of black well tarred  roads, cars hardly passed by, it was only a few people that had cars, commuting was not common then,

Na better school... searching for a good school in Nigeria?

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The world over,the government is charged with the responsibility of guiding its citizenry on how to make a good choice when placing their children in schools and other institutions of higher learning. A major duty of the government is to provide free education up to secondary level and also aid the provision of standard education up to secondary level. In Nigeria, things are a bit different, yes the State governments provide education, but in most cases it is such that the children of the state government  staff would not be caught dead in such schools.

A government school in Kogi State.

Another one in Kwara State.

There is indeed a large gap to be filled and this has led to the proliferation of schools in Nigeria that claim to offer good education. I have searched to check if there is any guideline emanating from government to help in making a good choice,  but there seems to be none.

All is however not lost, let's take a look at the following checklist and see if it wont help in the selection of a good school.

1. Private. Check. Chances are that if a school is privately owned and run, it is a good school, it is only if you are not a Nigerian or you don't live in Nigeria that you need further explanation.

2. The name of the school. Check.

Avi- Cenna School in Lagos State.

if the founder of the school takes pain to arrive at a good and meaningful name chances are that it will be a good school, parents have been known to prefer schools with  oyinbo names,  like Vivian Fowler, Avi Cenna, Grange , Corona, Loyola Jesuit, Chrisland, Day Waterman, Greensprings, Supreme Education  Foundation etc. It is the parents' belief that the more English or foriegn the name is, the better the performance of the school in helping their children achieve good results. Parents cannot be blamed really because there are names like Aunty Yewande Schools, I rise and shine secondary school, Blessing Impeccable Schools, Holy Ghost Fire School, Proper Arsenal International Nursery and Primary School, Sachel School, Branded College, Normal College, Nursery, Primary College, ( I mean, is there any such thing as an abnormal college?) Tambad School etc. Imagine your child saying " The name of my school is Proper Arsenal Nursery and Primary School" (in Tatafo's type of voice). Are we not carrying this football craze too far? Poor child.

3. The school fees. Check.  This is perhaps the major determining factor. Let's listen to this conversation between my friend, Ngozi and I.

Ngozi: Which school does your child attend?

Me: Blessing Impeccable

Ngozi: ( frowning, trying to check if the name rings a bell, unfortunately, it does n't) How much do you pay per term?

Me: ₩600,000

Ngozi: (finally convinced) Na better school.

If the school fees is not in hundreds of thousands, chances are that it is not a good school. Apart from the main fees, there should be other fees such as development levy, utility fee,( for electricity and water) Maths clinic fees, Excursion fees, Inter-House Sports fee,in short, an endless list of all sorts of ridiculously named projects.

"......na better school"

4. The uniform. check. Now this is a very funny one, it must include a tie, a blazer, a pinafore, leggings or tights and wait for this, bowler hats,regardless of our climate and weather, otherwise, potential parents might think the school is not up to standard.

Bowler hats, blazers in this all year round summer?

5. The type of and the number of school buses. Check.

Toyota coaster is the favourite of good schools in Nigeria, Toyota hiace fully AC with curtains is however a second choice, a good school must have a minimum of one Toyota coaster and a minimum of two Toyota hiace buses. This is however not an Herculean task because a separate fee of an average of ₩40,000 per term for transportation is charged by schools that provide school bus service,

6. The nationality of the Principal. Check. Majority of parents in Nigeria are of the opinion that their child will perform better and get better results if the principal is a foreign national, it could be British, American, French, Australian (like in my children's school, and assisted by an Indian) Indian, or even Ghanaian. Most school owners are of the opinion that Nigerians ( for reasons best known to them) are not good enough to head a school.

7. Foreign trips. Check.  For a school to be deemed as good enough it must offer outrageously expensive foreign trips, to America,( for example my children's school organized a trip for her students to go and witness Obama's swearing-in ceremony, even if they were only able to watch on screens littered outside the inauguration venue), Britain, Canada and more recently Dubai, it does not matter if the students have not been to neighbouring African countries like Ghana, The Gambia, Kenya e t c. The reason behind the choice, I guess is that the farther the country of choice, the more money is to be made on foreign trips by these schools and also the more 'posh' the school would appear to be.

No, you are not mistaken, the Queen actually stopped by or was it the school that visited? That indeed was the Queen of England with students of Vivian Fowler. Can you beat that?

8. I.T. compliant. Check.To be regarded as up to standard a school must offer IT, traditional black board and even the modern white board must give way for projector and other learning aids, flash drives are used to collect class notes by students and downloaded unto the students lap tops, in some schools, ( Greensprings for example)  these lap tops/ tablets are rented out to students annually at a fee you would get a brand new one in the market

Now this is neither a film trick nor "demo", these children use tablets and its not paracetamol, Greensprings.

9. The curriculum. Check. Just as everything in Nigeria is in mega proportions, to be a good school, the student must offer a minimum of 15 subjects and be put through up to three different curricula simultaneously , we have Nigerian curriculum, British, American e t c, our children have now become professional exam writers. Some  schools aiming at being even better concentrate only on either British or American curriculum, so their students will not sit local exams like W A E C, NE C O, Lagos State Government Exam and GCE which they consider to be unnecessary distraction.

10. Co- curricula or extra- curricula activities, a good school must have facilities for these and offer a variety of them. Schools should therefore have music room,  tailoring and home economics room, arts and craft laboratory all equipped to the nines. And the students must play hard just as they work hard, and their playing hard must reflect in trophies, prizes won in competition, tournaments both within and outside Nigeria.

Playing hard

Swimming competition, Day Waterman College.

Good at carting home the trophies, Vivian Fowler

11. External  Examination results. Check. This is another selling point. It does not matter if it is only a fraction of graduating students that do well, as long as there is a list of names that can be pasted on notice boards to show intending parents that their students do well in the examination. Note also that you the parent have to organize extra home lessons for your child and the school will of course take the credit when the results turn out good.

12. Location. Check.The factor that sells a property is the same as the one that sells a school; location, location, location. Parents don't mind commuting up to two hours to go and two hours  to come back or even longer every school day because of the location, in search of a good school for your child? Consider areas like Victoria Island, Ikoyi, Lekki, Ikeja, Magodo, Surulere etc, it does not matter if you live faraway from those areas. A friend and a co parent in my children's school confided in me that they had to relocate from their own house to  a rented place when their children became of secondary school age in quest of a better school.

13. Intercontinental cuisine. Check.Quality of the meals served in the school especially those that have boarding houses. Schools that have such food like hot dogs and burger, ice cream, jollof rice and chicken, chicken and chips, designer rice,  etc on their menu seem to be better than those schools where Mama put will bring her basin of rice and beans and ponmo to sell everyday without fail. However while  such schools are more concerned about nutrition and balanced diet, it has been discovered that Mama put floors them in the taste department.

14. Facility for foreign exams. Check. SAT, TOEFL, GMAT, Cambridge Checkpoint, IGCSE is a sine qua non. A school is not considered good until it can prepare students for and administer these exams.

15. Spoken English. Check. From my observation, students from different schools can be told apart by their 'accent', each school has its own unique 'foreign' accent, thanks to the school they attend. So in your quest for a good school, avoid schools have 'Engiligbo' English language spoken in Igbo as there lingua Franca, and schools that the teachers are versed in pidgin English and other local languages especially Yoruba as medium of conversation, you know schools where oil is called oyeli (Igbo)and teacher is pronounced shisha(Yoruba), the type of school you would find Akpors and his cohorts

16. Discipline. Check.  A good school will gladly indulge the students and their parents, punishment is almost non-existent. Gone are the days of morning duty, sweeping and keeping our environment clean, clearing bushes e t c like we had it in our own time, a good school would usually pay people to do that. The heaviest punishment in a school that I know for example is washing your own plate for one week( Vivian Fowler), trust me, I make up for this at home by ensuring my children wash plates to the extent that they do a better job than our dishwasher. Note also that offences and punishment that go with them would have been printed and given to you before enrolment

17. Public image/ perception or call it goodwill if you like. A good school would usually not be an island.

Walk to create awareness on dangers inherent in Drug Abuse, Vivian Fowler.

Care for the less privileged children in the society.

Excursion, a visit to the Oba of Badagry

It should be involved in what goes on in the society and in the area it is located and once in a while be featured in local newspapers  and magazines for one good deed or the other it carries out and how it affects the society positively.

18. Facilities and amenities that are up to international standard; to cap it all, a good school must invest in these. Some schools have air conditioned classrooms( Chrisland) and they run power generators through out the school day except when there is PHCN. Laboratories must be able to compete with that of any school outside the shores of  Nigeria. Well kept lawns, fields etc are also essential.

Halls of residence, just like home.

Well kept lawn, Vivian Fowler.

 19. Vibrant PTA. Check. A good school would have the creme de la creme of the society as members of its PTA, giving rise to networking opportunities and competition amongst parents in giving, sponsoring, playing and yes praying together, you could even learn a few new ways of speaking in tongues(just kidding) .

Parents praying together.

20. Have I forgotten any other point? Add your own.

If you are armed with this check list you can't go wrong when choosing a good school for your child, how has your school search journey been?