Ode to a playground.

A place from your past or childhood, one that you’re fond of, is destroyed. Write it a memorial.

Growing up was fun, whenever I go to Lagos Island, sweet memories still flood my mind, memories of a clean sparsely populated and breezy neighborhood which encompassed Bishop Street, Olowogbowo, Elegbata, Daddy Alaja, Koseh, Balogun, John Street, Doherty, Idumota and Marina. Everywhere was our playground including the gutters and right in the middle of black well tarred  roads, cars hardly passed by, it was only a few people that had cars, commuting was not common then,

Na better school... searching for a good school in Nigeria?

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The world over,the government is charged with the responsibility of guiding its citizenry on how to make a good choice when placing their children in schools and other institutions of higher learning. A major duty of the government is to provide free education up to secondary level and also aid the provision of standard education up to secondary level. In Nigeria, things are a bit different, yes the State governments provide education, but in most cases it is such that the children of the state government  staff would not be caught dead in such schools.

A government school in Kogi State.

Another one in Kwara State.

There is indeed a large gap to be filled and this has led to the proliferation of schools in Nigeria that claim to offer good education. I have searched to check if there is any guideline emanating from government to help in making a good choice,  but there seems to be none.

All is however not lost, let's take a look at the following checklist and see if it wont help in the selection of a good school.

1. Private. Check. Chances are that if a school is privately owned and run, it is a good school, it is only if you are not a Nigerian or you don't live in Nigeria that you need further explanation.

2. The name of the school. Check.

Avi- Cenna School in Lagos State.

if the founder of the school takes pain to arrive at a good and meaningful name chances are that it will be a good school, parents have been known to prefer schools with  oyinbo names,  like Vivian Fowler, Avi Cenna, Grange , Corona, Loyola Jesuit, Chrisland, Day Waterman, Greensprings, Supreme Education  Foundation etc. It is the parents' belief that the more English or foriegn the name is, the better the performance of the school in helping their children achieve good results. Parents cannot be blamed really because there are names like Aunty Yewande Schools, I rise and shine secondary school, Blessing Impeccable Schools, Holy Ghost Fire School, Proper Arsenal International Nursery and Primary School, Sachel School, Branded College, Normal College, Nursery, Primary College, ( I mean, is there any such thing as an abnormal college?) Tambad School etc. Imagine your child saying " The name of my school is Proper Arsenal Nursery and Primary School" (in Tatafo's type of voice). Are we not carrying this football craze too far? Poor child.

3. The school fees. Check.  This is perhaps the major determining factor. Let's listen to this conversation between my friend, Ngozi and I.

Ngozi: Which school does your child attend?

Me: Blessing Impeccable

Ngozi: ( frowning, trying to check if the name rings a bell, unfortunately, it does n't) How much do you pay per term?

Me: ₩600,000

Ngozi: (finally convinced) Na better school.

If the school fees is not in hundreds of thousands, chances are that it is not a good school. Apart from the main fees, there should be other fees such as development levy, utility fee,( for electricity and water) Maths clinic fees, Excursion fees, Inter-House Sports fee,in short, an endless list of all sorts of ridiculously named projects.

"......na better school"

4. The uniform. check. Now this is a very funny one, it must include a tie, a blazer, a pinafore, leggings or tights and wait for this, bowler hats,regardless of our climate and weather, otherwise, potential parents might think the school is not up to standard.

Bowler hats, blazers in this all year round summer?

5. The type of and the number of school buses. Check.

Toyota coaster is the favourite of good schools in Nigeria, Toyota hiace fully AC with curtains is however a second choice, a good school must have a minimum of one Toyota coaster and a minimum of two Toyota hiace buses. This is however not an Herculean task because a separate fee of an average of ₩40,000 per term for transportation is charged by schools that provide school bus service,

6. The nationality of the Principal. Check. Majority of parents in Nigeria are of the opinion that their child will perform better and get better results if the principal is a foreign national, it could be British, American, French, Australian (like in my children's school, and assisted by an Indian) Indian, or even Ghanaian. Most school owners are of the opinion that Nigerians ( for reasons best known to them) are not good enough to head a school.

7. Foreign trips. Check.  For a school to be deemed as good enough it must offer outrageously expensive foreign trips, to America,( for example my children's school organized a trip for her students to go and witness Obama's swearing-in ceremony, even if they were only able to watch on screens littered outside the inauguration venue), Britain, Canada and more recently Dubai, it does not matter if the students have not been to neighbouring African countries like Ghana, The Gambia, Kenya e t c. The reason behind the choice, I guess is that the farther the country of choice, the more money is to be made on foreign trips by these schools and also the more 'posh' the school would appear to be.

No, you are not mistaken, the Queen actually stopped by or was it the school that visited? That indeed was the Queen of England with students of Vivian Fowler. Can you beat that?

8. I.T. compliant. Check.To be regarded as up to standard a school must offer IT, traditional black board and even the modern white board must give way for projector and other learning aids, flash drives are used to collect class notes by students and downloaded unto the students lap tops, in some schools, ( Greensprings for example)  these lap tops/ tablets are rented out to students annually at a fee you would get a brand new one in the market

Now this is neither a film trick nor "demo", these children use tablets and its not paracetamol, Greensprings.

9. The curriculum. Check. Just as everything in Nigeria is in mega proportions, to be a good school, the student must offer a minimum of 15 subjects and be put through up to three different curricula simultaneously , we have Nigerian curriculum, British, American e t c, our children have now become professional exam writers. Some  schools aiming at being even better concentrate only on either British or American curriculum, so their students will not sit local exams like W A E C, NE C O, Lagos State Government Exam and GCE which they consider to be unnecessary distraction.

10. Co- curricula or extra- curricula activities, a good school must have facilities for these and offer a variety of them. Schools should therefore have music room,  tailoring and home economics room, arts and craft laboratory all equipped to the nines. And the students must play hard just as they work hard, and their playing hard must reflect in trophies, prizes won in competition, tournaments both within and outside Nigeria.

Playing hard

Swimming competition, Day Waterman College.

Good at carting home the trophies, Vivian Fowler

11. External  Examination results. Check. This is another selling point. It does not matter if it is only a fraction of graduating students that do well, as long as there is a list of names that can be pasted on notice boards to show intending parents that their students do well in the examination. Note also that you the parent have to organize extra home lessons for your child and the school will of course take the credit when the results turn out good.

12. Location. Check.The factor that sells a property is the same as the one that sells a school; location, location, location. Parents don't mind commuting up to two hours to go and two hours  to come back or even longer every school day because of the location, in search of a good school for your child? Consider areas like Victoria Island, Ikoyi, Lekki, Ikeja, Magodo, Surulere etc, it does not matter if you live faraway from those areas. A friend and a co parent in my children's school confided in me that they had to relocate from their own house to  a rented place when their children became of secondary school age in quest of a better school.

13. Intercontinental cuisine. Check.Quality of the meals served in the school especially those that have boarding houses. Schools that have such food like hot dogs and burger, ice cream, jollof rice and chicken, chicken and chips, designer rice,  etc on their menu seem to be better than those schools where Mama put will bring her basin of rice and beans and ponmo to sell everyday without fail. However while  such schools are more concerned about nutrition and balanced diet, it has been discovered that Mama put floors them in the taste department.

14. Facility for foreign exams. Check. SAT, TOEFL, GMAT, Cambridge Checkpoint, IGCSE is a sine qua non. A school is not considered good until it can prepare students for and administer these exams.

15. Spoken English. Check. From my observation, students from different schools can be told apart by their 'accent', each school has its own unique 'foreign' accent, thanks to the school they attend. So in your quest for a good school, avoid schools have 'Engiligbo' English language spoken in Igbo as there lingua Franca, and schools that the teachers are versed in pidgin English and other local languages especially Yoruba as medium of conversation, you know schools where oil is called oyeli (Igbo)and teacher is pronounced shisha(Yoruba), the type of school you would find Akpors and his cohorts

16. Discipline. Check.  A good school will gladly indulge the students and their parents, punishment is almost non-existent. Gone are the days of morning duty, sweeping and keeping our environment clean, clearing bushes e t c like we had it in our own time, a good school would usually pay people to do that. The heaviest punishment in a school that I know for example is washing your own plate for one week( Vivian Fowler), trust me, I make up for this at home by ensuring my children wash plates to the extent that they do a better job than our dishwasher. Note also that offences and punishment that go with them would have been printed and given to you before enrolment

17. Public image/ perception or call it goodwill if you like. A good school would usually not be an island.

Walk to create awareness on dangers inherent in Drug Abuse, Vivian Fowler.

Care for the less privileged children in the society.

Excursion, a visit to the Oba of Badagry

It should be involved in what goes on in the society and in the area it is located and once in a while be featured in local newspapers  and magazines for one good deed or the other it carries out and how it affects the society positively.

18. Facilities and amenities that are up to international standard; to cap it all, a good school must invest in these. Some schools have air conditioned classrooms( Chrisland) and they run power generators through out the school day except when there is PHCN. Laboratories must be able to compete with that of any school outside the shores of  Nigeria. Well kept lawns, fields etc are also essential.

Halls of residence, just like home.

Well kept lawn, Vivian Fowler.

 19. Vibrant PTA. Check. A good school would have the creme de la creme of the society as members of its PTA, giving rise to networking opportunities and competition amongst parents in giving, sponsoring, playing and yes praying together, you could even learn a few new ways of speaking in tongues(just kidding) .

Parents praying together.

20. Have I forgotten any other point? Add your own.

If you are armed with this check list you can't go wrong when choosing a good school for your child, how has your school search journey been?

Nigerians, keeping the change since 1973

Do you remember the phrase 'Keep the saing change' by Jenifa, in the film 'Jenifa'by Funke Akindele?Well Nigerians have been keeping the change since the introduction of the Nigerian currency, the Naira and Kobo on January 1st 1973.. Change hear means money returned to someone as the balance of the amount paid for something.

Different denominations of the Naira

Change or what is called refund in some other countries is one thing Nigerians love keeping. No matter how smart you think you are, you may never be able to succeed in retrieving your change from Nigerians,  well I beg your pardon,most Nigerians. Let us examine the following scenarios

You are at a filling/petrol station to buy fuel, you give the petrol attendant instruction to sell ₩5,000 worth, he will attend to you and ensure you have some change to collect by living some fraction less than that ₩5,000 say, ₩4.942 or some other fraction and he will either tell you your tank is full or that he does not have change. You will be forced to part with ₩58. There is hardly any customer that is not put through this daily except maybe a few people like me, carrying on the lone crusade of 'change collection' So at the end of the day a typical petrol station attendant would be taking home a tidy sum that will by far exceed his salary at the end of the month. Meanwhile they do not know that there is no such job as petrol station attendants in most countries in the western world,( you are expected  serve yourself and go in and make a payment) and that it is a privilege to them that such jobs exist in Nigeria.

The experience ,when you are unfortunate enough to take Public transport like buses and keke Marwa

Keke Marwa

and even taxis is worse. From what I hear, the best bet is to board with your exact fare, the dangers inherent in not doing that are far too many, you could be late for your appointment because you might be taken beyond your stop to get change if you are not ready to forgo your change, you might have to get physical with the conductor if care is not taken, you might be joined together with some other passengers( conductors call it marriage) alighting at the same destination to go and sought out one another as per the change.

The fact that you have a car and so do not take public transport does not exempt you except if you don't have a driver, if you don't have a driver, no problem, petrol station attendants will be waiting for you, if you do have a driver, please don't send them to buy fuel except you are in the car, (that is a story for another post). And if  you should send them on some other errand, do not make the mistake of asking for your change, there would be consternation on their face as if they have never heard of such a request before in their life. And if you, like me should cultivate the habit of asking for your change, your drivers will not stay long, you would have to keep getting new ones. And off course, most likely you will have an house help, these don't  render account talk less of giving you your change, if you force them to render an account, it will be so inflated that it would be obvious, so the fear of not losing  your house help especially if she is good at her job is the beginning of wisdom, so most people look the other way.

The neighbourhood supermarkets, maiguards that sell provisions, recharge card sellers are also lurking  in the corner waiting for you. Most of the maiguards now have exercise books and pen for you to write your change and since they cannot read, how would they know what you have written in the book? The implication is that right from the onset they do not have the intention of giving you that change. Sellers of pepper, vegetables groceries etc in the neighbourhood have a better deal, you exchange your change for maggie, onions and other 'orisirii' whether you need them or not. Stores  like Shoprite started right but it seems that they have realized that Nigeria is a 'non change giving country' and so have gladly joined. But what I don't understand is who benefits from this act at Shoprite, is it the staff at the tills or the company?

Banks too are just as guilty, especially as regards transactions like Western Union Money Transfer and Moneygram, the fractions in dollars are usually not paid, the excuse? they do not have Dollar coins and Cents. If a bank does not have coins who will have? 

Since I have imposed on myself a change collection crusade, you might be wondering how I have fared so far?Trust me, it can be very frustrating. Thank God for ATM cards and POS, I load my savings account and use my ATM cards wherever possible so any fraction or change left will be left right inside my account.

At petrol stations, I deliberately refuse to be friendly and so do not respond to all the 'happy weekend, happy new month, and happy whatever it is' greetings and I tell the attendants that they should round up their sale, I pay to the last whole number, and so any fraction they sell on top is at their own risk.

For dollar transactions in banks I request that any remaining fractions be converted into Naira and paid me or be paid into my Naira account.

I guess on public transport, you would have to have your exact fare, but since this may not be possible 100% of the time, you may have to forgo your change once in a while. 

You might also be thinking that my self imposed 'change collection crusade is 'much ado about nothing' well I beg to disagree, I believe that a little honesty goes a long way, and a con is a con no matter how little. What do you think?

Resolved

"Have you ever made a New Year Resolution that you kept?"

There is something that usually follows the new year, resolutions, new year resolutions they are called. The tag 'new year' is supposed to set them apart, is n't it? Resolutions, goals, plans, they have different names but mean the same thing, that is, what have you not been doing that you now decide to be doing in the new year, or what have you been doing that you still want to be doing but doing differently? Or what have you been doing in the past that you decide to stop doing. I am not a 'new year resolution person' I have discovered that over time. I am that kind of person that has long term goals in my mind but don't really have clear cut short term goals to get there and so far in spite of  that, things seem to fall into expected places for me. Was it not Tai Solarin of blessed memory that said, don't look before you leap, because if you look too much you might end up not leaping, so in most cases, I go on and leap and later sort out whatever the consequences are.

However towards the tail end of last year, I took stock and I reawakened my self to the fact that the only main ambition that I have always nursed and not yet done anything about is to start a school. I have always wanted to start a school, if there is anybody that I envy, it is those in the education provision sector. It is one thing I would regret if I end up not doing, and as the clock ticks and I get older, I become afraid and think what if I get too old to start and I can't start any more? It has become a fearsome fear that I have to overcome.

Since the first step to solving a problem is realizing you have a problem, I have identified this problem, it is the only want that I have that has refused to go. So it has to be satiated, but what has been keeping it from being satiated, a few reasons I identified are: 1. Fear of failure? No, definitely not, along the line I have delved into some other projects and businesses and they have been successful, so what  can it be? 1. Indecision on whether to start small with maybe a daycare centre/ crèche or a full blown primary school ? 2. Location, 3. Other businesses/ distractions that have made me loose focus along the line. 4. Family considerations. 5. Capital.  And 6. Perhaps lack of support from expected family quarters.This Daily Post Writing Prompts by wordpress is a good thing, it has made me realize how fearsome the fear has become. 

I have therefore decided that I will go on and leap although this time with a little looking, I will start by drawing up a long term plan and this time made up of short term goals to aid it, wake up that giant sleeping inside of me and get to work. I will keep you posted about how far I have gone by the end of the year. And oh, I almost forgot, I will learn how to bake.

What are your own plans for the new year?

Stroke of midnight.

Where was I when 2013 melted into 2014?

I was in church, just as I was in church last year, two years ago and for the past  Zillion years or thereabouts. I have always made an habit of ensuring that when the clock strikes 12 am on the last day of the year, my family and I would be in church. There is nothing as soothing and reassuring as being in church on the last second of the last minute of the last hour of he tlast day of the year. I am one of those people who have preference for a particular area or specific seat in church and if for any reason, I do not get that seat, my "spirit does not flow". So this means I have to make an extra effort  to get to church earlier than most people.

My family, early birds for the  cross over service.

There is no crowd like the crowd of the last day of the year, the church is usually filled to overflowing, there were seats on the streets for people to sit, there were more people standing than those sitting, no matter the number of chairs provided, they are never enough.

There was a festive feeling in the air, everyone was gaily dressed

Me, in my Sunday best (what our people call "bottom box")

and the atmosphere was charged, there seemed to be a general realization that we were there not of our own making, we were there because God granted it that way. We danced like never before, we clapped, we sang at the top of our voices, solemn hymns and gospel songs. Hugs became the new hello, we were eager to exchange greetings, to trade back thumpings, to laugh whole heartedly for the smallest of reasons. The lead chorister, a friend of mine loosened up, she was not her usual shy self, all her songs were favourites, the way she led us was different, it was as if her life depended on it or that she needed to show appreciation for what God had done for her that year. End of year or what we call cross over service is usually not a time for long sermons, it started with thanksgiving, the Pastor echoed the reasons why we should be thankful, reasons that were obvious already. This was followed by alter call, cross over service alter call is like no other, loads of people, mostly youths came  out in their hundreds to give their lives to Christ. Serious  "back to sender prayers" were said. The service ended with thanksgiving, prayer points were used for the countdown into the new year.As soon as the clock struck 12, there was a loud chorus of happy new year accompanied with moving around the church auditorium, hugging friends, family and  even complete strangers, perceived haters and enemies alike and wishing one another a happy new year.
 There were loud bang, bang, bang sounds of fireworks from outside. Because of the fireworks and traffic jam, a journey that would take about 5 minutes from my church to my house took about an hour, but we did not mind, in fact we enjoyed it. Back home, the smell of a new beginning was in the air. It was a new year indeed. We all exchanged another round of "happy new year" and talked into the first day of 2013.

What does Christmas mean to you?

 Christmas  is in the air, I can sniff it, can you? Stumbled upon a blogpost that asked a question, "how do we want to make Christ the centre of our Christmas celebrations?" The first thought that came to mind was well, we have been doing it since I was a kid, even before we knew that was what we were doing. By we,  I mean children in my nieghbourhood, we would get an old pillow, put it in a plain coloured pillow case, draw an ugly face on it , tie a rope round its neck and drag it round the whole nieghbourhood beating it mercilessly and chanting, " Judasi, ole, o pa Jesu je, ole" meaning, "Judas, thief, he ate up Jesus, thief. We would beat it till all the filling in the pillow would burst out and there would be nothing left. And oh, the fun we had doing that, we had been told on and on about Judas betrayal of Jesus, that nobody had any mercy on Judas. We would go from house to house and grown ups would give us money, coins to be precise, those were the days when Nigeria still spent coins. We would not come back home until the pillow had spilled out all it's contents. Compared to modern day Lagos, where neighbours  hardly know neighbours,and where no parent would allow their children out of their sight not to talk of to go roaming the streets because of the fear of kidnappers etc.

Neighbours exchanged porcelain dishes of piping hot jollof rice, fried meat and chicken across all religions, you do not have to be a Christian. Christmas was the busiest period for tailors, everyone both young and old would make a special "aso  odun" to be worn on Christmas day. Girls would do special Christmas hairstyles, "irun odun" and boys would have new haircuts. Perhaps the icing on the cake was a trip to father Christmas grotto, either at Kingsway, Leventis stores or UTC stores, those were the three departmental stores then. I was told that on one of such trips, instead of me being scared of father Christmas as most children used to be, I actually removed his beard out of curiosity and the poor guy had to sieze it from my grasp and quickly put it back on. Christmas celebration was on the streets, dancing, singing, eating from house to house, it was a communal thing.

Reminds me a little about "Let's go a-fishing", although with a little bit more seriousness,this is usually organized by  RCCG churches to celebrate Christmas, it entails  sharing of tracts, going through the streets telling people about Jesus, planting a new church and inviting those in the neigbourhood to worship and fellowship, cooking, and sharing of gifts in some instances.

It was on Christmas day that I commenced my parenting journey, I became a mother on Christmas day around 5pm thirteen years ago. When the baby

My first baby,God's Christmas present for the 2000. 

seemed to be slow in coming out, an hospital staff had joked that "this christmas baby might become a boxing day baby if she does not hurry up and come out". the hospital Santa Claus was with me in the delivery room. . The long awaited baby finally joined us around 5pm, I was so exhausted that I slept off and did not wake up until the following evening. Meanwhile,we did not know that the hospital had a policy of not charging for delivery of any baby born on Christmas day  until we were ready to leave and we asked for the bill, instead of the bill, what we were presented with was a red carpet treatment, snapping of photos with the owners and top management of the hospital and presentation of a notification of birth, what a wonderful way to spend Christmas. Since  then we usually celebrate Christmas with friends and loved ones and we have not missed our yearly  Christmas party,

Our Christmas party of year 2013. 

I have added giving out of take away packs of jollof rice and drinksto all the security guards manning the gates of my estate, drivers and all those on essential services, that we take their services for granted. I combine this with going a- fishing with my church either on Christmas eve or the day after Christmas.

To me, Christmas period is a time to wind down, to relax, to be merry, to forgive and forget, to overlook many things including wrongs. To catch up with old friends, to be thankful, to celebrate, to be merry, to share with friends and family. Now what about you? What does Christmas mean to you?